


Garreg Mach Mukbang

by Dikhotomia



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, F/F, Humor, Short and stupid, This is what happens when I'm up at 3am, YouTube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-26 19:28:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21753958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dikhotomia/pseuds/Dikhotomia
Summary: "El," Byleth says, drawing the other's attention, eyes lifting from the phone to the camera and to her girlfriend beside her."Oh, we're filming? Sorry." She puts her phone away, sliding it into the side pocket of the leather coat she wears. A staple. Something everyone expects to see 'El' in in every video. And so far in every one she has been with all her varying outfits. El sits back, arms crossed over her chest and one leg crossed over her lap. She still looks like she doesn't want to be there, her usual half attention to the camera and more attention to her girlfriend. A slight smile, a subtle narrowing of eyes.ORAnother product of me staying awake too late.
Relationships: Edelgard von Hresvelg & My Unit | Byleth, Edelgard von Hresvelg/My Unit | Byleth, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 177





	Garreg Mach Mukbang

**Author's Note:**

> This is entirely the fault of the NSFW Edeleth Zine Discord Server. Much love y'all.

The video clicks on and a familiar face drops down in front of the camera, half grin in place and a variety of foods covering the table in front of her. "Hey everyone," she says, stretching out slightly. "Welcome back to Garreg Mach Mukbang." It's the usual greeting, the smile, the wave. "Today we're gonna be trying a bunch of different desserts and candies." And she gestures to the spread, resting her hands against the table.

As usual her girlfriend sits beside her, face down-turned at the phone she holds in her visible hand, thumb ever in motion as she scrolls through whatever it is she's looking at. She looks bored, maybe tired, maybe questioning why she's always dragged into these videos when all she does is sit there and occasionally make commentary.

"El," Byleth says, drawing the other's attention, eyes lifting from the phone to the camera and to her girlfriend beside her.

"Oh, we're filming? Sorry." She puts her phone away, sliding it into the side pocket of the leather coat she wears. A staple. Something everyone expects to see 'El' in in every video. And so far in every one she has been with all her varying outfits. El sits back, arms crossed over her chest and one leg crossed over her lap. She still looks like she doesn't want to be there, her usual half attention to the camera and more attention to her girlfriend. A slight smile, a subtle narrowing of eyes.

Affection.

"Alright, this first dessert...I don't know where it's from? I got a bunch of these from my friends and you guys sending me stuff to try. So thanks for that!" Byleth holds up one of the dozens of deserts laid out, pastries, pies, slices of cake. Chocolate bars and candies, people wonder where she puts it all.

El affectionately calls her a 'black hole with a hollow leg' more often then not.

The video goes, Byleth trying dessert after dessert or candy or chocolate and hardly saying a word negative. She attracts so much attention because people always wonder if she'll ever find something she doesn't like.

It's the parfait she pauses on, thick, creamy, looks impossibly sweet. Byleth stares at it, processing, tongue rolling around the inside of her mouth before she takes another spoon full. And another, and--"El, you know this tastes like you-"

El's expression changes from the white of shock, to the red of mortification -- and, as everyone will point out later, she goes red all the way up to her ears -- to something stuttering. Anger, indignation, humiliation. No one is sure. "What the _fuck_ Byleth!" She shouts, standing, reaching for the camera as whoever's behind it starts laughing helplessly.

"EDIT THIS OUT."

_Video Title: This Dessert Tasted Like My Girlfriend's Pussy -- 10:50. 15k Views, 5k Comments._

\------

"What sort of single brain celled-" Edelgard is, understandably, furious when she sees. "I told you to edit that out! And then you went and _TITLED_ the video that?!" She's embarrassed, angry, hands covering her face as she sits in front of the laptop at the kitchen table. Byleth rubs a hand across the back of her neck, shrugging.

"It was late," she says, scratching her cheek. "I was really tired and I...forgot. Dorothea finished it."

Dorothea, who they can hear from the other room, is laughing while Ingrid tries to quiet her so they don't become the new target of Edelgard's ire. 

"I can delete it?" Byleth offers, sheepish. 

"You shouldn't have even POSTED IT. That's our personal life just...out there for everyone to know!" Byleth can see the blush crawling down her neck to her chest, fury and humiliation and she knows she's gonna be in for it later. Really. Really. _Really_. In for it.

\-----

It's just Byleth this time, no spread of food, no El. The camera is set up on the table instead and Byleth leans a little closer to it, speaking low and conspiratorially. "She got really mad about that last video," she says, peeling down her shirt to reveal the bite marks all over her collarbones. "I got made into the meal after that..." There's a pause and Byleth leans up, looking around for a second, then she leans back in.

"I usually top, but I could get used to this. El's pretty sexy when she's mad." And from the looks of it, Byleth isn't sitting very comfortably, weight settled slightly more to one side then another. 

"So, yea I'm sorry I didn't update for a couple of days...the sex was really intense and then we just got busy and--"

El's voice cuts in from behind the camera; "Byleth I _swear_ \--!"

Byleth sits forward, shutting the camera off.

_Video Title: She Got Mad (But It Was Worth It) -- 3:35 20k Views 10k Comments._

**Author's Note:**

> Catch me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/modulatechaos)


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